The Humans

 "To experience beauty on Earth, you need to experience pain and know mortality."

What an unsettling couple of months it has been for the MOP!  It all started when brother Lieb received a threatening letter from some alien lifeforms.  Following their request to bring 5-6 humans representing the best of the species and meeting at a specified time and place, Master Lieb naturally invited the MOP to bravely attend.  During some uneasy games of cornhole in Lieb's backyard, a UFO materialized over their heads, landed in their midst, and delivered a message containing the alien's demands…to read a book called “The Humans” by Matt Haig. The UFO was gone as quickly as it arrived and the quest was set.

On December 20th, armed with nothing more than honorable daggers, a gathering of the minds took place at Master Lieb’s dwelling. Unfortunately, brother Airy was unable to attend due to a meeting with the Guinness Book of World Records regarding his codpiece. The gavel was struck and spirits were poured.  First was a warming toddy consisting of Earl Grey tea ("Tea, a hot drink made of leaves, used in times of crisis as a means of restoring normality"), fresh orange, and topped with bourbon.  Brother Den Store offered a wonderful cured meat stick fresh from the butcher along with some “Weiss Quality Cheese Crackers”, a fine metaphor for the alien impostor hidden in human appearance in our book.  The brothers were introduced to a new game called Klask and some friendly competition ensued before spectating the Klask World Championship on YouTube.  Master Lieb prepared a peanut themed feast apropos given the main character’s infatuation with the peanut buttery goodness.  Grilled peanut butter sandwiches on sourdough were served alongside peanut butter ramen with beef short rib.  A fine white wine was the beverage of choice to compliment the cuisine.  After our appetites were quenched, the gavel was struck, Creed recited, and the meeting commenced.  Esoteric topics of the highest order were discussed as we sipped on Knob Creek Rye, Stone IPA, All Day IPA, and Jim Beam Black bourbon.  

The neophyte, now known as Timber Canine, was also in attendance as he continues to proceed through his initiation.  While he completed a number of essential objectives (visiting Phyllis Plank’s house and stating sometimes when he toots, he poops; procuring us a piece of limestone; gifting us a bottle of top shelf rye whiskey), shamefully he failed the two most essential parts of his mission, reading the sacred parchment and producing the blue paper signifying his acceptance.  The conclave, in their infinite wisdom and mercy, decided to give conditional admittance with the expectation that Timber read all parchment selected by the council henceforth (including The Humans so as not to upset the aliens) and that he produce the blue paper contained within his initiation letter or alternatively swallow the red paper revoking his membership permanently. There will be one further trial to ensure Timber has read the next parchment during our next council.

The meeting ended with a reverberating hummmmm and the sacred ark was passed to Den Store Røde. Calendars were tentatively marked for the next council meeting on Friday, February 24th. With eager anticipation we await brother Røde's selection. Go forth, ye seekers of the written word…!

 Night has cashed his chips, pleading an appointment with Destiny

A flat planet balanced on the back of elephants, who in turn, stands on the back of a giant turtle. While this may sound like just another Kyrie Irving interview, it is, in fact, the setting in which our next parchment endeavors to transport the curious yet confident wits of our brotherhood. True to the tendencies of your Margraff McPageturner, this parchment deals in a realm of fiction which nary even a flat earther or moon landing believer would deem plausible. 

Not having yet consumed the parchment myself, I cannot confirm if it includes any footnotes, text written upside down along page edges or accounts of self-copulation post time travel. However, I can confirm “the weirdness is off the scale with everything that happens in this book,” at least according to one critic. 

Our parchment is comprised of 4 individual short stories introducing us to this “discworld,” and while capable of standing up on its own, is actually the first of a series of no fewer than 41 novels using this location as a backdrop. With releases spanning a period from 1983 to 2015, books from this series regularly topped the Sunday-Times best seller list. We’ll be reading the first book in a series written by none other than the UK’s best selling author of the 90’s. 

Gentlemen, let’s explore Discworld together as we uncover the “Colour of Magic”

Where Fortunes are Made and People are Lost

You will received a package. What’s inside offers a small clue to a Non-Fiction history book that reads like a novel. Perhaps this book will force our minds to Dig Deep to uncover an Element of human nature that lies buried under our feet and speaks of unspeakable acts. I trust the MOP will have the METAL to handle this read. There is an irony in this scenario. While this metal is an essential element for health and a minute component in vitamin B12 it is also potentially lethal leading to anemia. On its own this metal presents a danger; yet as a by-product it is a vital component in our commercial and social lives. Everyones life would be altered dramatically but for this buried treasure. In fact our future depends on it. Just ask Elon! So, we will toast to our health at our Meeting which will only heighten our sense of the insidious terror and greed that has played out in this AFRICAN country for over a century and continues to this day in nationalistic scrambles to acquire CO. Our History book starts at the beginning with a King of a small European country at the turn of the 20th century. A small country popularized today by a unique style ale and serving as headquarters for NATO and the EU. We will become enlightened as the novel traces back the origins of unbelievable terror, greed, and heroism that continue to play out by GHOST of this colonized country. I trust you will unearth the clues to this three word 1998 book so we can set sail to a forgotten time in a disregarded country. Maybe we will become aware of lingering Ghosts portraying different kings of the day? In the interim let’s try to plan a meeting Friday / Saturday July 14/15th or July 21/22 or August 11/12? Realize this will be a road trip for Gary. Advise me what day(s) you are available. Enjoy. I remain Pompous…as ever Other Business: Our new members, Logan and Gary, need newly minted MOP names. Guys, be prepared to declare your alias at the next meeting. Master Lieb Schmear aka Evan Lord Lloyd de Papel aka Warren Count Von Pluma aka Colin Readie McPageturner aka Tyson Pompous de la Pundit aka Bob Den Store Rode aka James Meatball aka Danny Love aka Danny Boy Lt. Er Airy aka Kevin