Fellow backyard philosophers, let me state a disturbing yet inarguable truth... The world is going down the toilet and no bidet is going to save it! Wars, inept and immoral leaders, natural disaster, billionaires fighting over who gets to colonize the moon, etc. The climate is collapsing, economy is pretending it's fine, and half the world thinks the other half is brain washed.
As we gather again to solve the timeless riddles of life, or at least mutter wise-sounding musings while rubbing the belly of a Buddha and drinking bourbon neat, I ask you to consider a simple truth...We are, despite our obvious superiority, cosmic background noise. The Earth is the size of our codpieces (impressive yet relatively miniscule) in the scheme of the universe. A mostly harmless rock spinning around a second-rate star, inhabited by creatures who argue about Kendrick Lamar's musical talents while weilding daggers too dull to slice refrigerated butter.
But we persist! Still lighting things on fire in the backyard. Still rubbing the belly of our Buddha for wisdom. Still floating toy miniatures in water in eager anticipation of their expansion. Still monitoring and researching the Bitcoin market. Still shopping for ceremonial cloaks and drawing our ornamental daggers, whilst chanting our ancient hummmmmmm before each meeting, because that’s what dignified men of superior intellect do!
In times like this, we seek answers, meaning, a sign from the cosmos. We want books that tell us something true, or at least books that make fun of people who think they know what truth is.
And so, it is with reverence and completely justified smugness that I reveal our next sacred text:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
A literary work that understands how absurd the universe truly is.
So join me, noble brethren of the fire pit. Let us once again feign superiority while staring into the void and laughing at it, as we read a book that might be the truest thing ever written about the world...even if it’s about another one.
Meeting scheduled for Friday, August 15, at 6pm.
Go forth ye seekers of the written word!
Sincerely,
Master Lieb Schmear
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