Gentlemen, there are numerous reasons our book club is superior to all others...our superior intellect, our vast knowledge, and our significantly above average codpieces, to name but a few. Another quality we pride ourselves on, one that other clubs cannot touch, is our broad based eclectic library and our willingness, no, our desire, to go outside of our comfort zones and become true polyhistors. 

Most people are content wading through whatever dry, "inspiring" memoir Oprah tells them to buy this month. That’s fine for the masses. If you want to sit around a living room discussing the "emotional journey" of a recycled Reese Witherspoon thriller, there are plenty of other groups for that.

But we started this club because we’re better than that. We’re here for the gems that everyone else is too "refined" or just too slow, to appreciate.

For our next move, we’re going somewhere we've never gone before, to the niche genre of LitRPG!

I fear I have already earned an eye-roll or two, but that’s good... I believe this book will, in retrospect, make you turn that eye-roll into a maniacal grin of pure, unadulterated satisfaction. This isn't just "video games in a book." It’s a high-octane, survival story with a nice sprinkng of humor to balance out the gore. About as fun a read as you'll ever have.

But, beneath the explosions and  incredibly violent combat, there’s some heavy duty substance too. It’s a brilliant, cynical look at modern entertainment culture (right up my alley), the cruelty of capitalism, and how people maintain their dignity when the entire universe is literally laughing at their struggle. It’s about the rage of the underdog and what happens when the "little guy" finally decides to stop playing by the rules.

It’s smart, it’s hilarious, and frankly, most people wouldn't have the stomach or the wit to appreciate the layers here. But we do.

You’ve got two ways to tackle this novel. The physical book is a total page turner. I found myself reading it whilst brushing my teeth, I just couldn't put it down! However, if you’re a fan of high end production, I hear the audiobook is legendary and I'm planning to try that modality this time around. Apparently, It’s not just a guy reading, it’s a full-blown performance that makes it feel uncomfortably real. Pick your poison. 

So, what is this work of genius? Do I have you salivating in anticipation? To maintain secrecy (we don't want Oprah getting word of MOP's next pick), I need to trust that only true Men of the Parchment are privileged to this data. So, text me the name of which "class" you would be if you were in your own role playing game (RPG) and I will send further instruction.

Some examples to wet your noodle: 

The Planet Fitness Gym Bro: High Strength; specializes in "Judgment-Free" violence.

The Risk Manager: High Charisma; can mitigate 50% of damage by filing a formal grievance.

The Undertaker: High Constitution; expert at "permanent" administrative leave.

The Dad-Joke Paladin: High Defense; uses groan-inducing puns to stun enemies.

The Engineering Wizard: High Intelligence; refuses to attack until he’s "optimized" the floor plan.

The Vertebral Vandal: High Dexterity; can "adjust" an enemy’s spine into a permanent pretzel.

DUNGEON CRAWLER CARL by Matt Dinniman

Text me your character class and await further instruction. 

Hummmmmmmmm